I’ve cleaned my room and threw out a lot of old letters, embarrassing diaries from high school and some important records by accident. Losing some of them is like breaking a toothpick I have for a heart. Snapping, sending splinters airborne.
All is not lost, however. I found my report book from kindergarten.
[VG = Very Good | G = Good | A = Average | BA = Below Average]
Apparently, I was not able to create patterns and figures, didn’t like to play with words and sounds, couldn’t write my own name, poor at interpreting a picture beyond what is depicted and was hardly creative. When the other kids in class were advancing in Peter & Jane, I was more interested in stickers and the way the teacher drew stars. Instead of reading, I could stare at the different shades of yellow in Jane’s blonde hair and Pat, their Irish Setter.
The teachers also noted my sense of hygiene.
Years later, I did receive another BA, but of a degree sort.
Some things change easily, some takes a lifetime. About two decades later, I still have antisocial tendencies (it has nothing to do with you, I’m only introverted) and I’m still trying my best to finish my work promptly.
I also found some of my grandma’s stash of things. My grandpa found his way into the news with his death. My grandma kept many versions of the story from various newspapers, but none of them were fully true. They even gave him a new name. In the hospital, he was in a foul mood and yelled at my grandma in front of everyone. When they reached the barber later, my grandma did not just took a walk, she walked off because she was mad at him. I don’t think they both anticipated their relationship to end in such a manner.
I don’t know if there is such a thing as good or bad memories. Everything else is a memory only because we choose to remember them. Alzheimer’s and amnesia are probably two of the most painful things any person can go through… and perhaps the real victims are the loved ones of the patient. It’s funny how our need to immortalize people and things are only witnesses to our own mortality… and the mortality of everything else. Today will not happen again. This will never repeat itself.