everything is as it should be

She passed away a year ago and for the first time, I’m washing the muffler she knitted for me. She started to knit when her cancer was at the last stage. She would sit on the couch and knit shawls and mufflers while watching tv soaps. Her hearing was deteriorating so she’d turn the volume up to 11 and have a reception bell by her side – just in case no one could hear her calling above the din. My muffler is white with orange-brown patches, warm colored and too warm for Malaysia’s weather. I use it in the office mostly… but I will probably use it proper in November.

I love watching time lapse footages. What seem like forever is fast-forwarded into minutes of plants growing, flowers blooming, babies developing, sun rising and seasons passing. Little changes too tiny to be seen with the naked eye in real time now seem significant and vital to the bigger story.

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.



  1. agung

    i wish i had (more?) photos of my grandma.

  2. Jun

    squinting my eyes to see the small photos. i keep taking photos of my grandma – she is so old, nearing 80 – but behaves like a rebel farmer, jogging or taichi-ing at 6 in the morning. she hates how she looks in the images – so i don’t show them to her. she would transform any soiled land into vegetable gardens. this means, organic and free vegetables for me.

  3. thundered cat

    when you stop by my place, i’ll show them to you. my grandma had green fingers too… except that she prefers flowers over vegetables.

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