A few days ago, I received an email I sent to myself a year ago. It brought a knapsack and a trunk full of emotions. At first it was weird in an I-know-what-you-did-last-summer kind of way, and then I felt warm and almost teary. I also felt silly. But all in all, I felt that I’ve grown. Not that I’ve ‘arrived’ or ‘made it’ (I doubt I will ever, or if I want to), but that I’m still growing and have been since last year. It excites me to look back and realize that although I’m still the same person, my mindset, thinking and perceptions are being renewed. I may feel the same, but my understanding is changing.
I don’t profess to know a lot or enough, but this is how I see it: life is like an onion—except that it’s
less not stinky. Every experience is an act of peeling the onion, one layer at a time. And you’re stripping off all the unnecessary and life becomes more focused and when it comes to the core, only the important remains. I want to keep the important.
I bought two new wooden shelves from Ikea a week ago. I know my room needs some serious reworking. So this is my first step. Next: off-white curtains (to be spray-painted or hand painted with patterns or designs), drills, paint (in light olive green), frame up some old and new photographs, new cables for lights and empty boxes for many unnecessary items. I don’t like packing, but this I have to do. It’s more than a redecorating plan. I don’t even know how many more years I will be sleeping in this room. I find this temporary, but I will make the most of it.
So I wrote another letter to myself again. And last night, I wrote another. This process is important for me. I’m a forgetful person. I remember faces, not names. I remember pages and sections, not specific verses. My letters will arrive in my mailbox on February 14th 2008.
Check out futureme.org, if you haven’t already.
The fortune from my fortune cookie reads: *smiley* Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you *smiley*. In that order with the smileys. I thought it was kind of cute so I ate the entire thing—sans the paper, of course. It was tangerine flavored. I hope my dreams taste better.