I had a long conversation with my aunt during the Chinese New Year break a couple of weeks ago. She shared with me about her unhappy marriage and how life is short and really what you make of it. It seemed depressing at first, but as we were talking, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope and courage welling up inside of me. She mentioned many things about fulfilment and unmet desires. And it all boiled down to how there will be many things in life that can wear you down and make you doubt yourself but at the end of the day, you get to choose what you to see and become—and the sooner you realise this, the better.

And a realisation doesn’t just happen in the mind, but what you do with your hands.

“I can say this though, there was a moment, sometime in 2002 or 2003 when I was sitting by the sea, up on an island off the coast of New Hampshire when I realized I could make my life into anything I wanted, that I could choose my reality. That was when I put myself fully into this, that I decided to just go and see what happened, nothing else mattered.”
– Mikael Kennedy, interview by Brian Ferry

Photo was taken with an old SX-70 with a faulty roller. That’s the kitchen.

So instead of pretty blurred photos of colourful explosions, here are a few photos of how we spent our time in Singapore. Mostly eating and lots of walking. And we made our customary visit to Loysel’s Toy, again.

I love the triangles and type chosen for the address on the building.

We also visited one of our favourites in Singapore, The Little Dröm Store. They share their space with Kki, a lovely cake shop where we had a chocolate-coffee filled dome and a strawberry champagne cake. Too pretty. We had lunch with Stanley and Antoinette later at Maison Ikkoku (yummy spam musubi with furikake—too hungry to photograph) in Kandahar St. We talked about sourcing refurbished pencil-legged mid-century furnitures and they shared about leaving their jobs, pursuing their dreams (dröm is Swedish for dream) and starting their own business. Some people you meet will drain you and then there are the others who breathe life into you. They’re with the others.

More photos are on Ant’s blog. Will be posting up more in a few days!

In the meantime, here’s a song that’s been a theme of late or rather, I’ve been listening to lately. Enjoy:
Home – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Cognac Chocolate Truffles
Yields around 30 truffles

566g (2 bags) Ghiradelli 60% cocoa bittersweet chocolate baking chips
60g unsalted butter
¼ cup heavy cream/thickened cream
4 tbsp cognac
½ cup cocoa powder

1. Place chocolate chips in a heatproof bowl. Set aside. Heat the cream and butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring just to boil.
2. When the cream and butter mixture starts to bubble at the sides, immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for a minute or two. Stir with a rubber spatula until smooth. (If the chocolate doesn’t melt completely, place in the microwave for about 20 seconds, or over a saucepan of simmering water, just until melted.)
3. Leave chocolate to cool. Test the readiness of the chocolate by dabbing some chocolate on your lips. When it’s nicely warm on your lips, add in the cognac. Add more if you like a stronger taste.*
4. Cover and place in the refrigerator for 2 hours or until mixture is firm enough to be molded by hand.
5. Pour cocoa powder into a mixing bowl. Using a melon baller, scoop out some chocolate and place it in your hand. Roll it into a round ball by hand and toss it into the cocoa powder to be coated. Remove and place aside. Continue with the same technique for the rest.

Note:

1. You can use any type of chocolate but I personally prefer dark chocolate and although 60% was rather mild for me, to my surprise it wasn’t too milky but was rather balanced by the alcohol.
2. You can use Grand Marnier instead of cognac too. Or not use any alcohol at all. Or add in some vanilla essence.
3. If you find that the chocolate balls are starting to melt in your hands as you’re rolling, put the chocolate back into the fridge for a few minutes and start again after. Otherwise, do what I do by making the truffles in an air-conditioned environment.

Recipe adapted from My Baking Addiction and Joy of Baking.

(Can’t believe how fast 12 days have passed this year!)

Mandu:
2 cups mince pork
1 cup chopped boo chu (Asian chives)
1 cup chopped green onions
10 Shiitake mushrooms
150g silken tofu, mashed and drained
3 cloves garlic, grated
sesame oil
vegetable oil
salt and pepper
sugar
soy sauce
mandu/gyoza skins

Loosely adapted from Maangchi.

1. Place the mince pork into a mixing bowl with some salt and ground pepper to taste. Add in a 1 tbs of sesame oil. Mix it by hand and set aside.
2. Wash the chives and spring onion well and dry them thoroughly with a paper towel or cloth. Chop them up to make 1 cup each. Add a little oil and mix it together (tip: the oil will coat vegetable to stop the liquid from coming out). Place the chopped vegetables into the mixing bowl with the pork.
3. Rinse your shiitake mushrooms if you’re using fresh ones or soak them 30 minutes prior if you’re using dried shiitake. Dried shiitake packs more flavour, so you’d want to use less. Dice them, not too finely and add it into the mixing bowl.
4. Squeeze the tofu in a cheese cloth to drain off excess liquid. Add some salt and add it into the mixing bowl.
5. Grate the garlic and add it into mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, mix together 1 tsp of soy sauce, 1 tsp of sugar and tsp of sesame oil. When the sugar dissolves, add it into the mixing bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Mix it by hand.

Now the filling is ready to be wrapped. Use cold water to help seal the sides of the mandu or gyoza skins. Pleat the edges as you go along.

1. Heat up a non-stick pan. Turn the heat down before you add a little sesame oil to it as sesame oil burns fast. Add your mandu into the pan and try to keep it in a row like how you’d pan-fry gyozas. Let it sit without moving it in the pan for a minute or two on medium heat. Add more oil if it gets dry.
2. Check for browning at the bottom of the mandu. If it’s a nice light gold, turn the heat down low and add some water to the pan. Cover immediately and let it steam. The water level should cover the base but not too much. This process makes for a crunchy bottom and steamed top.
3. When all the water is evaporated, transfer them unto a plate, keeping it in rows, with the brown sides up.
4. Repeat this process for the rest of the mandu. Serve hot with dark vinegar and julienned ginger if you prefer.
   *Note: I took three tries to get the right coloration on the pan-fried mandu. See here.

Pajeon:
2 eggs
1 cup green onion
1/2 cup all purpose flour, sifted (you can also use rice flour for a softer texture)
(If you have extra mandu fillings, add it into this to make a meat pajeon)

Yangnyum dipping sauce:
1 tbs dark brown sugar
1/2 tsp chopped garlic
1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tbs chopped green onions
2 tbs toasted sesame oil
1 tbs ground, toasted sesame seeds
1/4 cup soy sauce

To cook the pajeon, do it as you would an omelette or pancake. Serve the pajeon with the yangnyum dipping sauce.

––
To divert away from food, I made a list of things I’ve been enjoying and drooling over. Fourteen items for the past fourteen days in December thus far.

1. Handmade geometric earrings (so pretty, but I would have to pierce my ears again for this) by Weekday Carnival’s RK Shop
2. Gold-dipped black clay earrings by A Merry Mishap
3. Geometric polyhedron wooden candlestick stands by Urban Analogue
4. Michael Lax Copco enamelware kettle with wooden handle from Harmonie Park
5. Compass bag taslan in yellow by Jasmin Shokrian from Totokaelo
6. Bowls by Mushimegane Books
7. MacAlister wedge boots by J.Crew
8. Made to order Lysligne Drop necklace with a single freshwater pearl by Le Grenier in Japan
9. Paper maché bowl with gold leafed interior by Up in the Air Somewhere
10. More bowls from Mushimegane Books because they’re lovely
11. Mineral and semi-precious stone paintings by Carly Waito
12. Montgomery crop sweater in antelope by Rag & Bone from La Garçonne
13. Volume 2 of Kinfolk for small gatherings
14. Teak lounge chair by Kai Kristiansen

Meatballs:
250g mince beef
250g mince pork
1 egg
12 Jacob biscuits, crushed finely
2 heaped tbsp grated parmesan
1 tbsp extra strong Dijon mustard
1 heaped tbsp dried rosemary, chopped finely
1 heaped tbsp oregano
2 cloves of garlic, grated
A handful of fresh basil, chopped
Zest of one orange
Salt and pepper

Combine all together, mixing with hands. Roll them up into balls with wet hands (makes 36 meatballs, depending on size/serve) and cook over pan with olive oil. Easy peasy.

Raspberry mayo:
1 cup/250ml mayonnaise
2 – 3 tsp raspberry coulis
Juice of ¼ of a lemon
Ground black pepper

Sour cream wasabi:
1 cup/250ml sour cream
2 tsp wasabi
1 scallion, chopped finely (omit the green leaves)

Both dips will work with crackers and sandwiches too.

Black sesame filled tong yuen (glutinous rice balls). Store-bought.

Canned hummus served with some paprika, lemon juice and extra virgin olive oil as dip for chapatti. Other not pictured food consumed today include: lemon poppyseed pancakes, kampung fried rice,  loh mai fan (steamed glutinous rice), fried spinach and fresh tofu with soy.

–
Books in first photograph:
Kawashima Kotori‘s Mirai-Chan and a book of works by Toulouse-Lautrec.

Here’s to the simple things in life that make you stop doing everything else you need to do so you can carelessly rest in the space between each breath. Like the way the light enters into the room and bathes the sheets when you know you need to get up. Like when you’ve captured the sun’s vaporous yellows and clarity in the color of brewing tea.

If I could name the color of golden glass that is found in these fleetingly sublime moments, it will be called “giving thanks”.

When I first made pasta from scratch, my arms hurt the next day and I told myself I need to get a machine for it—not only for pasta, but for pan mee (one day, yes). On a rare day I was craving for carbonara. It’s usually not my favorite as the thick cream puts me off after a few mouthfuls and I’ve heard that the original carbonara uses no cream, so I decided to try making my own.

To make the pasta, I use the simple formula like making pancakes—1 for 1.

This recipe makes 1 serving:
1 egg
100g flour
A pinch of salt
A small drizzle of olive oil

1. In a large mixing bowl or clean work surface, create a well in the flour. Crack an egg in the well. Add in the salt and olive oil.
2. Using a fork, mix the egg slowly and gradually mix in the flour in circles.
3. Combine the dough mixture and work it until it’s no longer sticky. Add a bit more flour if necessary.
4. When the dough is shaped into a ball, dust your working surface with flour. Roll the dough out to a square or rectangle with a rolling pin. Set your pasta machine to the biggest setting (no. 1) and put your dough through. Dust dough with flour again and fold. Run in through the machine again.
5. Do this with a smaller setting each time until you get the thickness you’re satisfied with. When it’s thick enough, put it through the cutting slots. If you don’t have a pasta machine, simply use a rolling pin to roll, fold, roll and fold until desired thickness and smoothness. Then dust the pasta sheet, roll it up and slice with knife.
6. Lift cut pasta up and let it fall to let them come lose from each other. If you have a good amount of flour dusted, they will separate nicely.

I didn’t have bacon ready at hand, but I found some cured sweet sausages in the fridge (pancetta would have been a dream).

1. Boil a pot of water with a good amount of salt (think sea water). When it boils, toss in the fresh pasta.
2. On a pan, heat up some olive oil. Slice the garlic thinly and add it into the pan. As the garlic is slightly browned, add in the sliced sausages/bacon/pancetta.
3. In a bowl, mix an egg with grated parmesan.
4. Fresh pasta usually takes half the cooking time of dried pasta. And it should take roughly the same cooking time as the garlic and sausages. Turn the heat off the pan. Drain the pasta and add it into the pan with garlic and meat.
5. Immediately pour the egg and parmesan mixture into the same pan and combine and coat pasta. The heat from the pasta will cook the raw egg. Serve with cracked black pepper.

I’ve to say that having a pasta machine makes a silkier pasta than rolling it out by hand. Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry now. At 1am. Not good.

Also, a Zoku popsicle maker has come in handy too. Thanks to Ant, I’ve been making yummy instant fruit ice popsicles that brighten the dullness every now and then. So far I’ve made ice popsicles from dragon fruit with honey, orange with honey, Milo, mixed berry and purple carrot with kiwi slices.

Some random illustrations from a rainy Sunday evening and some photos of life indoors:

This year seems to be passing by rather quickly in what looks like a collage of earthquakes, engagements, weddings, deaths and celebrations. (At the risk of sounding a bit melodramatic but it’s true.) And it’s not even December yet.

I came across this line while perusing the internet and read this by Yoshitomo Nara: Never forget your beginner’s spirit. As the year is quickly approaching to an end, it’s an appropriate personal reminder to never forget how it all started, to stay curious, to keep looking, learning and that life is a comma, not a period.

(An illustration I did at work on endangered animals in Malaysia.)

“He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.”
– Horace

So I spoke to my employer about my desire to move on and it’s only a matter of time when it’ll happen. This first step seemed to be the hardest, yet having taken it, another step ahead awaits me. I feel a weight has been lifted and I’m living in the certainty of my choice. The ball is rolling and things are setting in motion.

Next, I’ve to prepare my folio and apply for jobs (something I’ve not done in more than half a decade) in London or Melbourne. I’m not going to lie, this is a scary journey. But if it doesn’t move you, it’s probably not a ride worth getting on, yes?

Am in place where uncertainty pushes me forward, where keeping my eyes ahead is a daily lesson and hope is a bottomless bucket. Here’s to moving forward!